Is Nick Saban the reincarnation of Carthaginian General Hannibal Barca?

 

Allen Kellogg,

Rome, Italy

 

Nick Saban has established himself as the greatest college football coach of his time. When asked about his success, he will talk about “the process.” Recently evidence suggests that “the process” is not the sole reason for his success. Nick Saban is actually the reincarnated soul of one of the greatest generals in world history. The famous Carthaginian general, Hannibal.

For those not familiar with the history of the ancient world, Hannibal Barca is an icon in military history. Carthage was a North African empire based in modern day Tunisia. Carthage and Rome were rivals who fought in three of the bloodiest wars in the ancient world. Rome would go on to completely obliterate Carthage at the end of the 3rd Punic war. During the Second Punic war, Hannibal led a Carthaginian army, including several war elephants, from Spain across the Alps into Roman Italy in 217 BC. For seven years he rampaged all over Italy obliteration any Roman army that crossed his path. At Cannae, he pulled of one of the greatest military maneuvers of all time. Outnumbered nearly 2-1 he destroyed the largest Roman field army in history killing an estimated 100,000 roman soldiers.

What exactly do Nick Saban and Hannibal have in common? Well it turns out quite a bit.

Nick Saban, like Hannibal has a burning hatred of Rome. It dates back to his time at Michigan State. As the leader of the Spartans, Saban remained bitter of the Roman conquest of Greece in 146 BC. Evidence of his hatred of Rome was seen when Saban scoffed at Michigan head coach, Jim Harbaugh, announcing he would be taking his team to Rome over spring break.

When Hannibal was just a little boy, his father Hamilcar made his son swear a blood oath to never give the Romans a moments peace. New documents out of Tuscaloosa that this was the same blood oath Nick Saban took when he signed his first contract with Alabama. Part of the deal is that he swore to never give the rest of the SEC a moments peace

Hannibal and Saban have the same winning percentage; 77.1%. Saban is 205-61-1 while Hannibal went 3-1 in major battles and 165-37 in skirmishes. Saban does not tolerate insubordination. He forced Lane Kiffin to resign right before a national championship. In a ironically similar move Hannibal crucified the sub commander in charge of his Numidian cavalry right before his great defeat at Zama.

However the most damning evidence are rumors of infant sacrifices in Tuscaloosa. Ancient Carthage was a polytheistic society. The head god was Baal Hamon. To keep Baal appeased, the Carthaginians would cast infants in to a pit of flames. Forensic evidence has found the skeletons of infants in former Carthaginian holy sites. Rumors of child sacrifices have followed Saban for years. Alabama State Troopers and Tuscaloosa PD refuse to discuss the issue and no missing children have been reported. The only response we could get from those asked is a “ROLL DAMN TIDE.”

However hospital records in Tuscaloosa show that nearly 200 infants are unaccounted for. These babies have birth certificates, but any other documentation to show this child existed cannot be found. Seven miles south of Bryant-Denny stadium is a pit hidden in deep in the back woods of Alabama. It is guarded 24/7 365, but not by law enforcement officers. These mysterious guards refer to themselves as the “sacred band” which was also the name of the elite soldiers of Carthage. Alabama fans consider the Crimson Tide to be a religion. Every Saturday they sing praises of Nick Saban and their god, “Foot Baal.”

Nick Saban refuses to acknowledge any connection to the Carthaginian general, however he does have a stone bust of Hannibal in his office and speaks highly of the general’s leadership. Don’t forget both men have an elephant on their banner.

 

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