Texas Legislature Approves Construction of a Wall to Protect Texas ‘Croots

 

Austin, TX
by Allen Kellogg

The Texas State legislature passed a bill to build a wall along the eastern, western, and northern borders of the state. The wall will be used to prevent college coaches from other states raiding croots from Texas.

Gov Greg Abbott proclaimed he has a plan in place to make Oklahoma, the SEC (sans A&M), FSU, USC, Stanford, and any other schools taking prospects from the state of Texas pay for it. Funding for the border will come from two main sources, there will be a six-figure fee for coaches and other staff members to attend Texas High School games and talk to the players they want to croot. Another source of funding for the wall will be a 1000 percent tax on aviation fuel purchased in the state of Texas by coaching staffs.

Once competed the wall will be more than 1000 miles long with multiple check points across to prevent coaching staffs from other schools getting in. The border defense will also include surface-to air missiles(SAM) to shoot down aircraft attempting to sneak into Texas airspace. The chairman of Academi, a private military company formerly known as Blackwater, and notable Texas booster Red McCombs said he would provide security forces at the wall at no cost to the tax payer of Texas.

“This wall is about securing our borders and keeping other schools from raiding our croots,” Texas State Representative, Jeb Hensarling said. “This project will provide thousands of job to Texans both in the construction of the wall and at Lockheed Martin who will manufacture our SAMs. With our borders secure, football in the state of Texas will be great again.”

Critics of the wall mainly come from other states who are concerned about the personal freedom of the players to choose whatever school they want. Gov. Abbott addressed this concern by saying the players are free to attend any school they want, but the university will have to pay substantially for the privilege.

The POTUS expressed concern that Texas was more interested in building a wall on the northern border rather than the southern border. Texas schools unanimously rejected the southern border because they hoped to find future kickers coming to Texas.

Construction on the wall is expected to begin in early 2018.

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