How to Ruin Your Draft Stock and Cost Yourself Millions of Dollars


WARNING – The following story contains things that are actually mostly accurate.

By Allen Kellogg
Indianapolis, IN

The NFL combine is a place where prospective NFL rookies can show of their speed, strength, and athleticism. Some players helped themselves by running lightning quick 40-yard-dashes or proving their strength by benching 225lbs multiple times. Other players decided to shoot themselves in the foot and cost themselves large amounts of money by running their mouths.

Tim Williams LB Alabama

Williams was viewed before the combine as a possible 1st rounder, another stud linebacker out of Alabama in the mold of Dont’a Hightower, Reggie Ragland or C.J. Mosley. However, William chose to talk about how many drug test he failed at Alabama. “Oh yeah. I have failed some,” Williams said. While I commend him for his honesty, his method could have been better. Rather than talking about the test he failed, why not talk about how long he has been clean? I am not going to call this kid a bad guy because he likes to smoke weed, but the NFL has shown itself to be more than willing to kick a talented player out of the NFL for smoking pot. Williams compares well to former Nebraska star Randall Gregory. Both are excellent pass rushers and like to smoke. Gregory dropped into the second round before being picked up by the Cowboys with the 60th pick. Gregory has already gotten in trouble with the NFL’s drug testing protocol 4 times despite being in the league for only two years. He will spend the 2017 season suspended for missing another drug test. Williams has a ton of talent, but when scouts say they are worried that he has a “Randy Gregory like problem,” you know he is going to fall in the draft.

Reuben Foster LB Alabama

Roll Tide! Foster distinguished himself at Alabama and was considered a lock to be one of the first 10 players taken off the board. He is the current Butkus Award winner and the leading tackler for the Crimson Tide. Foster is recovering from surgery and was not expected to run drills, but was expected to interview with multiple teams. Those never happened. Foster got in a confrontation with a medical staffer and was sent home. Sources says Foster became agitated while waiting in line with and said something to one of the medical officers who took offense. Foster said something along the lines of “Bruh, do you know who I am I will bust your skinny ass.” The NFL sent him home and he missed speaking with 16 teams. The Combine is like the first job interview. It’s tedious and annoying, but everybody has to do it and it’s just part of the process. Failing that interview is going to take a bite out of Foster’s potential earnings.

Malik McDowell DT Michigan State

McDowell before the combine could have been a top 3 pick. That won’t happen now. McDowell reportedly bombed the interview section. One NFL team said he was the “worst Interview we did.” McDowell continued to hurt himself by blaming the Michigan State coaching staff for not using him properly. Blaming your coaching staff is not a good strategy for a job interview with the NFL especially when that coaching staff is under Mark Dantonio. Rather it speaks poorly of your character and makes you look uncoachable.


Texas Legislature Approves Construction of a Wall to Protect Texas ‘Croots


Austin, TX
by Allen Kellogg

The Texas State legislature passed a bill to build a wall along the eastern, western, and northern borders of the state. The wall will be used to prevent college coaches from other states raiding croots from Texas.

Gov Greg Abbott proclaimed he has a plan in place to make Oklahoma, the SEC (sans A&M), FSU, USC, Stanford, and any other schools taking prospects from the state of Texas pay for it. Funding for the border will come from two main sources, there will be a six-figure fee for coaches and other staff members to attend Texas High School games and talk to the players they want to croot. Another source of funding for the wall will be a 1000 percent tax on aviation fuel purchased in the state of Texas by coaching staffs.

Once competed the wall will be more than 1000 miles long with multiple check points across to prevent coaching staffs from other schools getting in. The border defense will also include surface-to air missiles(SAM) to shoot down aircraft attempting to sneak into Texas airspace. The chairman of Academi, a private military company formerly known as Blackwater, and notable Texas booster Red McCombs said he would provide security forces at the wall at no cost to the tax payer of Texas.

“This wall is about securing our borders and keeping other schools from raiding our croots,” Texas State Representative, Jeb Hensarling said. “This project will provide thousands of job to Texans both in the construction of the wall and at Lockheed Martin who will manufacture our SAMs. With our borders secure, football in the state of Texas will be great again.”

Critics of the wall mainly come from other states who are concerned about the personal freedom of the players to choose whatever school they want. Gov. Abbott addressed this concern by saying the players are free to attend any school they want, but the university will have to pay substantially for the privilege.

The POTUS expressed concern that Texas was more interested in building a wall on the northern border rather than the southern border. Texas schools unanimously rejected the southern border because they hoped to find future kickers coming to Texas.

Construction on the wall is expected to begin in early 2018.