Nick Saban Demands Battle Ready Carbon Exoskeletons in the Name of Player Safety

By Allen Kellogg
Tuscaloosa, Alabama

Nick Saban is lobbying the NCAA to allow Alabama players to wear carbon exoskeletons in practice and games. He claims that these battle suits are in the name of player safety. The exoskeletons are made of military grade carbon fiber and titanium and according to multiple studies and they are able to prevent 98 percent of injuries including an 85 percent reduction in concussions.

“These suits are the future of football,” said Nick Saban, “We are talking about a system that reduces the impact on my players brains and bodies. This is a revolution in football.”

Critics argue that the new battle suits will give Alabama an unfair advantage The suits can boost a players raw strength by 56 percent and increase speed by 40 percent. This allows Alabama players to impart nearly three times the amount of force onto their opponents.

The suits were developed for the US Army as a force multiplier. It was supposed to enable soldiers to carrier heavier combat weapons and allow them to fight for longer. However, the exoskeletons cost roughly $15M so the Army decided not to adopt the machines. Instead all the machines were sold to the University of Alabama for an undisclosed sum.

When Saban was asked if he would share the technology with other schools, he said no. Saban said it was up to the schools to protect their players and if they didn’t want to pay 8 figures to protect their students, that was on the school. He also refused to divulge the company who provided Alabama the advanced military technology.

The advanced robotic technology and futuristic materials have several other advanced features. There is a laser rangefinder that was developed to direct heavy artillery fire and track fast flying combat jets and helicopters. Alabama has modified this technology to allow receivers to track footballs in the air which helps their receivers come down with the ball.

Nick Saban insisted that features like the laser tracking system and speed increases are not against NCAA rules and should be allowed on the field.

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